Rover Finds a Graviton
If someone dropped a graviton
Rover’s nose would know —
his sniffer is the paragon
of snouts in sludge or snow.
His schnoz detected one today
lying in the street.
It didn’t try to run away;
it was bereft of feet.
He caught the varmint in his jaws;
it smacked of moldy shoes.
Because he’d messed with Nature’s laws,
Earth rushed toward Betelgeuse.
While hurtling past the Hunter’s belt,
his mouth was getting sore.
Its hardness wasn’t lamb or spelt
but quartz. A tug of war
developed as it hauled the hound
through Earth and out. A lead
he couldn’t see now drew him, bound
for the stars at breakneck speed,
a pace that topped all cosmic tricks,
while we began to career
down Rover’s path. No horror flicks
had ever caused such fear!
While tumbling through deep space, he chanced
upon an exoplanet.
He waved his paws and wagged and danced
for the coterie that ran it.
Their paws were huge — not four but six! —
covered by paw warmers.
When he informed them of Earth’s fix
the pack became brain stormers.
Kept warm by lighter fuel, each glove
was fashioned by a mind
whose prowess was light years above
the finest of our kind.
One raised a paw and time was stilled
for all but them and Rover.
One handed him a box they’d filled
with chow they had left over.
They said, “This doggie bag’s a gift
to munch when you return
to terra firma.” Rover sniffed
the sack. He could discern
dewclaw-licking fare so great
it made his stomach rumble.
But there was still that leaden weight
in his mouth that wouldn’t crumble.
Suddenly he felt a zap,
alarmed from the attack,
as they pried the object from his trap
and snarled, “That’s not a snack!”
splashed “lighter” fluid on it, lit
the thing, and all was right.
And then they gave the dog a mitt
that luminesced at night.
With antimatter pion ships
they kindly towed us home,
depicting astral scenes with yips
in time to a metronome.
After they whizzed away, the brane-y
mutt knew gravitons
posed far too great a risk for zany
gravity gourmands.
Now, whiffing one, his hackles rise.
Though prevalent on Earth,
they’re not like chipmunks, cats, or flies.
He gives them a wide berth!
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