Classic Poem

When the rains are in season and the wind sets fair
Nothing is better than the farmer's share.
Our silkworms had mulberries to spare.
Our grains had been reaped to the final stook
And the tax men had left us more than they took.
Since my village had a vow at the temple to pay,
They sent me to redeem it on market day.
As I reached the high road by the top of the town
I saw a paper banner they had just hung down.
On it was writing with designs in between
And below it the biggest gaggle I had ever seen.
(Liu-sha)

Among 'em was the one who was working a door,
Yelling, " This way, this way, pay your fee before
The whole place is full and you can't find a bench!
Our first act's a yüan-pen called Seductive Wench ,
This is followed by a short yao-mo ,
It's easy on the stage to make time go
But hard to get applause for doing so. "
(Wu-sha)

Then, without a pause in his hullabaloo,
He snapped up my coppers and shoved me through.
Now inside the door was a cliff made of wood
Where layers of people sat around or stood.
Like inside a bell-tower I would have said
When I stood at the bottom and lifted up my head.
But looking the other way it seemed as though
I was watching a whirlpool down below
Of people sitting everywhere.
And a bunch of women sitting there
Watching a platform — it was not a god's day,
But the drums and the cymbals were a-crashing away!
(Ssu-sha)

On the floor came a girl who capered, and then
Went off and led on a bunch of her men.
One of that gang you could tell right away
Spelled trouble if you met him whatever the day.
His head was wrapped in a jet-black cloth
With some kind of brush-pen stuck in the swath.
(One look at him and you couldn't go wrong,
You knew right away how he got along)
His whole face was limed an ashy white
With some black streaks on top of that —
Now there was a sight!
He wore on his body one of those kinds
Of tunics covered with big designs.
(San-sha)

Well, he
Recited some verses and one or two rhymes,
Then he spoke a kind of fu and sang a few times.
His mouth kept on goin' right through every verse!
He wasn't real good, but I've heard a lot worse.
And the memory he'd got I wish I had —
To tell all those jokes and japes wouldn't be bad.
Then he came to the end:
" That's all, " he said.
Then he slapped his feet around a bit and bowed his head.
And that was all for one part, so the music played.
(Erh-sha)

Now in comes " Little Brother " and " Squire Chang, "
The last tellin' the first one just where he's wrong.
They cross the stage and go round and roun'
All the time sayin' they're walking into town.
Then they say they're in town (though they went nowhere!)
And they spy a young girl under the awning there.
Old Chang's got to have her if it costs him his life.
And he sets right out tryin' to get her to wife.
He's sure in a hurry and just that keen
That he teaches Little Brother how to be go-between.
But she wants silk and satin, millet and rice,
And ol' Squire Chang? — she won't look at him twice.
(Yi-sha)

Squire Chang backs up 'cause forward won't do
And with his right foot in the air he hoists his left one too!
Poor Chang is whipsawed fro and to
Till he's so hotted up he don't know what to do,
So he
Bangs his meat-club on the ground and snaps it right in half
And I nearly bust my side while I double up and laugh.
(Wei)

Now the lawsuits would start just as sure as there's rain,
But I got such a bladderful I'm dyin' in pain,
I keep hangin' on and hangin' around to see the thing through.
Just to listen to them talk and to see what they would do,
But my bladder is achin' so I can't catch my breath —
Those crazy pizzles made me leave —
Else I'd have laughed myself to death!