Aliens Among Us
Aliens Among Us
They landed secretly in major urban areas
all through the late 60's
there were problems with assimilation:
bizarre behaviors attributed to young humans?
all aliens
remember streaking? Dead givaway!
They look human!
To the nines!
A few minor diffs:
The females have external genitalia
look just like human males
but their “sperm” are clouds of fertilized eggs
thousands emitted each time they lay
the aliens reach sexual maturity about when humans do
but their gametes aren't fertile till about age 35
thank god!
if their teens were fertile
we'd be up to our clavicles by now
how to tell an alien female from a human male
(without a microscope)
femmes, they're called
they never leave the toilet seat up
that's really the only way
their males now,
smaller than femmes,
as in most species
coincidentally, resemble female humans
internal genitalia, etc
their sperm are few, precious,
not to be spilled needlessly
we're talking really low sperm counts:
One! Two!
Anyhoo
each sperm can activate (“quicken”) scores of eggs
the lil guys contain no genetic material
none, nada, zilcherino
exchange of that occurs only among females
in rituals no human has yet witnessed
the aliens say, when pressed
“Humanity is not ready.”
this all happens during copulation
the mechanics of which are mundane
which is to say
alien style, no weirder/more/less tittilating than human style
quite the else at a micro scale, however:
whole lotta shakin' going on
obv.*
Hitherto our four** species have coexisted amicably
(mauger the Isthmus Incident; look it up)
but signs & portents abound:
boatloads of jabbering clairvoyants & -audients
adrift on major rivers & lakes
Miss Emilie's Daily Astrological Reports (June 16-23 of last year)
(unbelievable!)
assorted unexplained apparitions
unpredictable quakes
most telling of all:
Nate Silver's 538 Blog's recently published correlations
human & alien fads,
propensities, propinquities, & geographical parallelismae***
indicate, nay proclaim(!)
humanity's
done
kaput
eradicatismo
all over but the facebooking
und so weiter
well, at least they won't have to
redesign our bathroom signage
his → hers
hers → his
done!