the authenticity of my butt

the authenticity of my butt

i now hear that
the authenticity of my butt
is in question

who are these doubters, these trolls
naysaying, behind anonymity

well, i stand here today
and tell you my butt is authentic
unadultered, genuine american male ass

this is not some cheap foreign knock off
no booty magic here, no $5000 enhancements
no fat injections or custom adjustment
of my hip-to-thigh ratios

this is naturally sculpted
earned over forty-five years
no pills or supplements have been taken
in the making of this butt

i burned no salem sage for this buttock
and have had several personal inspections
from certain certified hands
it checks out
i can provide references

in the future my ass might be cloned
or handcrafted onto some series of sexbot
pvc skeleton with steel joints and silicon flesh
this is the legacy / I leave behind

no stage tricks
no mirrors or hidden compartments or trick lighting
my butt and I will be in the lobby after the show
taking questions

but
i’ll thank you to not question
the authenticity of my butt

First published in Ethos Literary Journal