The Ballad Of Sir Henry Shay

Sir 'enry Shay, the noble knight,
Bestride his charger Bess,
Befell upon a sadly sight ~
A damsel in distress.

Despairing in the forest she
Morosely wept and sobbed;
Tied tethered to a chestnut tree
As she was being robbed.

Sir 'enry drew his tempered blade
And fought off robbers four.
Swish-swashing, buckling, till he laid
Them hapless on the floor.

"My hero" then my lady cried
"I'll marry you this day!
And be your wife, your faithful bride
To honour and obey".

But when she smiled, her eyes aglow,
He found she had no teeth;
As naught dwelt in the upper row
And not-a-one beneath.

There again her nose was pointed,
A moustache grew within;
M'lady's jowl had been disjointed
About her double chin.

Sir 'enry then bethought his lot
And sparked a canny plan.
Regardful of Sir Lancelot
Who shrewdly cut and ran.

The gallant knight would flee the glen
And beat a fleet retreat;
The better part of valour, then,
Was oh to be discreet.

Sir 'enry deemed he should be gone
Upon his trusty steed.
He coaxed a nudge that spurred her on
And galloped off at speed.

The moral of the story, where
Accordance looms a must,
When e'er you save a damsel fair
Pray leave her bound and trussed.