I grew up religious

I grew up religious
And I'm not quite sure when that changed.
My faith set like the sun,
Fading from twilight to dusk
So gradually I didn't even notice
Until the day's warmth had faded
And I was left shivering
Under the cold light of the stars.
I miss the feel of the sunlight on my face
But no matter how hard I try
The clouds always seem to block its rays.
I wish it was as easy as when I was a kid
But then again, nothing ever is,
Is it?
Growing up, your faith is supposed to be tested
And I guess I failed
But is it really my fault
That I can't believe in the reality of something incorporeal
When I can barely believe in the reality of my own blood and skin
And bones?
That somewhere along the line,
I outgrew the comforting embrace of faith from my memories
So now, when I try to shrug into it,
It stretches too tight across my skin?
I just want something to believe in again
Because nothing is incomprehensible
But something is unforgiveable
And I don't know what to think.
When I think too hard
My skin starts to crawl
And the world starts to warp
And maybe it doesn't matter after all.
Maybe, for now, I should just stick to saying
I grew up religious.