I Simply Can't

I Simply Can't

Brilliant, beautiful, translucent
powerful sun's beams penetrates
brightens my atmosphere 
a thousand graceful moving shadows 
but mine in symmetry haunts    

Only my sour spirit is transformed
into the longing lifeblood of the moment
as if the rays irritated my funny bone
transformed my introvert and idle stance
into a new awakening of brightness 

Despite all, I want to feel good
I want to feel ebullient, robust, happy
I want to taste the full experience
I want to stretch my being beyond the limit
I chuckle, smile, but do not test the impossible 

I want to dance to the catatonic warbles of bird songs 
fly with arms and legs in wild abandonment in the air 
free spirited, unchained, uninhibited
I want to strip and dance to the Indian Moon Dance
or barefooted, stomp to the rhythm of free nature 

I want to unburden, but I can't!
I urge for free and open thought, but I am stifled me with fear
I want to stay a celebrant but I must shamefully depart
I want to sense the exhilaration of the moment, but an iron curtain stops me 
like a turtle, I carry the burden of my personal guilt, though
I am guiltless