Leave

Cast me away and throw me aside.
Fall through the halls to land where you hide.
Disregard my success and shut down my needs.
My mind is tired and my aching heart bleeds.

Everything is wrong, try as I may.
I know I am nothing.
I know I am weak.

My body sinks into the floor so I cannot leave.
I twitch and I cry but I cannot leave.
All is stiff but I feel I am fainting
I can't hear my breath but I know I am panting.

My ears ring and the world loses shapes..
I have no reason.
I am lazy.

I get up because a headache pounds me back.
But even in color the world seems black.
I smile because there is no room to frown.
But her illness drags us all back to the ground.

I know I have done this to myself alone.
My choice was to put my emotions to stone.
My strength was in solidarity for my family
But from my mind I cannot learn to leave.