mistakes

i felt strange that night 
i felt the hold of her hand on my knee
i left her, i left because of the noise
she called me, but i let it go
she wouldn't understand she couldn't
i held my arms by my side and wept
my room was so empty 
my heart was dripping wax around my apartment
it was red, and white, as if it was bleeding
but apologizing at the same time 
surrender
i held myself until i fell asleep