Pain Tolerance

I want to believe
That I have a high pain tolerance
But the truth is
I've just never really been in pain
And it's awful to say
But part of me wishes I had
That I could look back
And pinpoint the break
That left this dull ache behind
The wound that's not-quite healed scab
Would give me the right
To be floundering like this
If there were a weight tied to my ankles
At least I could forgive myself
For struggling to swim
And I know it isn't fair
And I try to give myself grace
But I can't help but feel
That these broken ribs
Tearing at my lungs
Are nothing more than bruised
Black and blue, sure
But still whole
That their bloody fragments
Are nothing more than figments
Of an overdramatic mind
Scrabbling for something sharp
To excuse its audacity