The Poetry Diet - drop a stanza in just two weeks!

The Poetry Diet - drop a stanza in just two weeks!
 
Breakfast is  blank verse spread with ballads
Or a bowl of elegy and a boiled ode.
 
For lunch, try a rondelet with herbs such as cento.
Follow with a lay if liked,
Sweetened artificially if necessary.
Vary your cinquains and quatrains
According to season.
 
For dinner a well-grilled villanelle
With a simple side sonnet and a little steamed prose.
Do beware of prose. It can be hard to stop.
Make sure to keep crunchy acrostics to hand.
 
For snacks, try haiku.
They're surprisingly meaty
And will satisfy.
 
Free verse is unlimited.
 
Drink at least eight couplets a day,
And up to three glasses of freshly-squeezed phrases.
 
When tempted by fizzy limericks,
Chewy clerihews, chocolate epics and sweet lyrics,
Visualise yourself as a sexy sestina
Rather than doughy doggerel.
This poem is scientifically proven
And has been approved by dactyls
And other members of the metrical profession.
It really, really works.