Prayers of an Addict

I lay on my side as I stare at the date
The calendar radio reads five-oh-eight
A voice in my head screams of all I've done wrong
I writhe in its grasp, but to it I belong
I toss and I turn as I long to be free
And a voice of allure sings an old song to me:

"How can you believe tender mercies will last
With all of the horrors that live in your past?
Come back to a simple world, safe and alone
Return to the shadows of safety and home
Remember, in fighting tonight's pain and sorrow
You'll not have the strength when I come back tomorrow."

I've heeded the voice throughout many long years
To disobey once rang a canon of fears
Bottles' emptiness echoes a deep void in me
But there's pain in this void, and from pain do I flee
What's right and what's wrong?  I am still torn apart
But I call to the voice with a sudden brave heart:

"As to my weakness, you're probably right
But as to my failure, it won't be tonight.
Torment all you want, but I'm not coming back
To where purity crumbles and reason is lack.
Should failure lie waiting, I've truth to put hope in
For still tender mercies await, arms wide open."

I squeeze my eyes shut and hold fast my decision
And cling to a Higher protector's provision
I've plunged into limitless mercy so deep
That peace overwhelms: I surrender to sleep
My slumber is dreamless, and in little time
The calendar radio reads five-oh-nine.