Ringing At The Door
I wish there was a quick hand signal one could give
To tell
A pedestrian that one is quickly passing by in one’s car
That one thinks that they are swell
But doesn’t condone their smoking
And wants them to quit
But as for now they just drive by
It’s so very cold
But snow doesn’t fall
There are thick clouds but no lightning strikes
No thunder rolls
No rain
No hail
No sleet
A woman sits and watches the scene
…
Thinking of her hopes
Thinking of her love and lovings
Thinking of her hate and hatings
Thinking of her states and actions
Thinking of her sleep patterns
Thinking of her way of talking
Thinking of that certain expression she makes
Thinking of her way of speaking
Thinking of her plans
Thinking of another winter’s lullabies…
…
Thinking that it’s raining somewhere else…
~~~~~~~~~
All my tears that flow
Ne~e, all my tears that can’t
Even all my tears that can
Kilt-bound, all my tears that don’t
Inside us… outside us… we hear each other
~~~~~
It felt like an endless, starless night
…
And it actually was starless
…
And somehow
It finally came to a terminus
…
The invisible stars faded
The embarrassed moon began its flight
Amidst the sound
Of the clattering of empty vodka bottles
The blushing sun slowly rose
Eastward of the Volnayakov mansion
Casting imperial streams of red and gold
On the bitterly cold land
Clothing the pine trees like princes
Mostly on the Siberia-facing side
The exterior of the ancestral mansion
As well as a few lucky doors
And halls and walls and mirrors
And floors and ceilings
And chess boards and pianos
And chairs and music-boxes
And clocks and wardrobes
And paintings and vases
And some other things
Of the Volnayakovs
Were gilded
Or double-gilded
Once again
~~~
There is one lady
…
Of the several ladies
Who live there
…
Called “Olga Mae Fits”
…
And she almost doesn’t deserve it
As the rooster crows
She thinks to herself:
<<<
Such sleeps as beguile the night
Fell upon
The ancestral Volnayakov mansion
Grandma Eupraxia Mae Volnayakova
Finally stopped talking about how
“Sleep is a jewel”
And actually went to sleep
A night continued and continued
In the vacantness
In the coalescence
In the meeting
In the warmth
In the vast ice
In the unseen drifting snowflakes
In the unseen falling snowflakes
In the blackness
In the flames
In the rustling
In the stillness
In the music
In the silence
In the nocturne
In the demesne
In the mystery
In the coldness
Stars scraped their silver circles
Across the dark Celestial sphere
And then the night passed
The sluggish Northern winter dawn
Finally came
The red-faced sun finally rose
It rose slowly over the cold, cold, icy hills
And the moon
Embarrassed
About what it did last night
Silently crept away from the proud sun
And made its way over the opposite horizon
To go somewhere else
Faintly blushing as it slipped out of view
…
And so
The effulgent sun I see before me
Is getting into the swing of things
Laughing as it saunters to its next peak
>>>
~~~
Just after breakfast time
Cousin Eupraxia Sasa Volnayakova
(Technically we are fourth cousins)
Showed up with her mother
Snežana Sasa Volnayakova
At the front door
With her signature doorbell pattern
Without a moment’s notice
Without an instant’s notice
A short ring and then a long ring
And then a small pause
And then a long ring and then short ring
And then a small pause
And then finally a short ring
My mother opens the door
Letting them and the frigid gales in
I quickly walk from the dining room
Down the hall towards the foyer
I turn the last corner joyfully
To see
For the first time since last Spring
Auntie Snežana
(Who is technically not my aunt)
And Eupraxia
Sometimes Eupraxia will wear
A laurel wreath on her head
Of bay laurel
And when she does
Sometimes
It is a complete loop
And sometimes
It is an incomplete loop
With a significant gap at the front
…
I quickly check to see whether or not
She is wearing one
And if so
Whether its loop is complete or incomplete
…
Ah
She is…
And its loop is incomplete…
…
“Close the door, please, Eupraxia”, I say
“It’s freezing, haha”
“Don’t you feel it?”
Soon the frosty air-streams are put to an end
<<Of course I feel it>>, she responds
…
Rotating evergreen green
On rotating black
The bright
Only indirectly seen
Sun
Seems to be asking me a question;
<So, now, have you started to hear them?>
<…>
<The sounds that make you want to cry?>
~~~
Later that afternoon
After we play a chess game
(I distinctly remember
The exact forced checkmating
Sequence of moves
And yet
I can’t remember who won)
Eupraxia insists
That we go on a walk
Even in the bitter cold
Promising to be back in one hour
We begin to leave
Sounding like a booted horse
As soon as we open the front door
We are greeted by the icy gales
Oh dear… so cold, so cold
Hah
And it’s as if
Everything but the mansion
Is the true house
And these are its excited dogs
…
Endless expanse of snow
The door slams shut behind us
I decide to take the lead
And with thick hats and coats
And gloves and pants and boots
We trudge towards the river
~~~
When she says something about starting smoking
~I got this very strange feeling in my chest~
“Eupraxia means good conduct, y’know!”
<<I know, I know…>>
<<…>>
<<I was just joking! Got you! Haha!>>
“That’s not funny!”
“Promise me you’re joking!”
“Promise!”
<<I promise I’m joking>>
<<I’ve never smoked and I never will>>
<<It’s so bad for you…>>
<<And would be terrible for when I sing>>
“T’hh”
“You’re crazy, Eupraxia”, I say
Smiling and shaking my hat-clad head
“Or should I say… ‘Yuu-yuu’?”
<<You’re the crazy one, ‘Fyō-fyō’>>
…
She takes the lead and we keep trudging
~~~
We reach the river
It looks completely frozen
Yuu-yuu— I mean Eupraxia
…no…
…I mean Yuu-yuu…
Starts walking towards the edge
Of a five foot rock face above the river
<<It's been around 25 minutes>>, she says
A little loudly
To be heard over the stronger winds
Which now carry a fair amount
Of biting snow
<<Let’s hang out here for, like, 5 minutes>>
She starts to wipe away some annoying snow
Out of the ring-like nooks between her gloves
And the ends of her coat-sleeves
Two complete loops
<<And then head back>>
<<If it takes around the same amount of time to get back, even though it’ll probably be faster, we’ll get back around five minutes early>>
<<That’s at least five minutes in case anything happens>>
<<And I’m sure if we hypothetically took an hour and half to get back - not that we will - no one would be worried>>
“Alrighty… sounds good”
“Five minutes and then we loop back”
<<Yeah… I think we should go back on the same route we took>>
“Okay… that’s good”
Yuu-yuu looks around at the scenery
I start trudging towards her side
She gives me a smile
…
Suddenly
A pair of little bullfinches fly by
One with a bright red flame-coloured breast
And one with a grey breast
Their species is known to make song
Featuring fluted whistles
But since last week
I have not heard any of their
Mournful or melancholic
‘Peeu peeus’
Nor can I now
As they fly by
…
Moments later
As I am paces away from her
I notice Yuu-yuu
Get
- In my opinion -
Too close to the edge of the rock face
~~That very strange feeling in my chest~~
~~Again; but much stronger~~
“Stop! Yuu, you’re too close to the edge!”
<<Okay>>
<<Okay>>
<<…I really was too close…>>
<<Don’t worry>>
I look at the sun for a split second
“Don’t scare me like that, Yuu-yuu!”
“For your own sake, please be careful”
<<Aww, you really care about me>>
“Yeah… it’s not just ‘cause I don’t want to be suspected of murder…”
<<Hah>>
<<Thanks, Fyō-fyō… I feel the same…>>
She takes a look
At the several-paces-radius area behind me
She walks over to it and feels the ground
Beneath the snow
<<Tsk, tsk>>
She felt rocks
She continues, wordlessly
Over to a more open and flat area nearby
She feels around again
And around and around
Until she covers quite an area
And then rotates
And makes, in my face’s direction,
A sudden, squinty, beaming smile
<<Heehee>>, she laughs quietly
The sun, again, seems to be saying something to me
I brightly smile back
Most genuinely,
But with inner eighty-five-percent-confusion
About what is going on
“What are you doing?”, I semi-shout
So that I can be heard over the wind
Even stronger and snowier now
…
…It’s truly a blizzard
<<Just wait, you’ll see>>, she semi-shouts back
<<It’s safe>>
<<It’s perfect>>, she whispers to herself
She starts jogging back to me
Her footprints approaching the completion
Of a large boot-stamped loop
She reaches me
Placing her boot
In a footstep she made before
<<It’s significantly easier if you follow the footsteps>>, she says with a smirk
As she takes my gloved right hand in hers
~~~
…
As she suddenly tackles me into the snow
What she was doing before
In a split second, makes sense
Trusting her and her evaluations
I brace for the soft-thick snow
Impact
So gentle
And not a single rock is felt
Nor a single stick
Nor a single piece of debris
Yes, so very gentle and peaceable
Or so can be said for what is below
I lay on my back
My face facing the sun
And another Sun
Hahaha
Slain by the Yuu-yuu
Infinitely less massive
Than the great light
At the centre of our solar system
And weighing quite a bit less than me
And yet…
Such force
<<It’s true that I feel the cold just as you do>>
The blizzard suddenly picks up even further
<<But did you know, Fyō-fyō…>>
<<That I am the — >>
Another sharp increase in the cold gales
She takes off her hat
And tucks it into her coat pocket
Inexplicably
That laurel wreath she likes to wear
Is now a complete loop
I say it
“I’ve always loved you so much, Yuu-yuu!”
She brings closer her snow sprinkled head
Those eyes I adore so deeply
<<I’m the same…>>
<<But more!>>
<<I love you, love you, love you Fyō-fyō!>>
…
We have never felt more warm