Snail Boy

Snail Boy

A lurker in gardens,

has a weakness for lettuce,

which does him

like kryptonite to Superman,

except it's more like

Cocoa Puffs and that stupid bird.

He dreams of Scarlett Johanson:

she's putty in his foot.

I work at Body by Radula,

he'd tell her,

that Salon in the Mall?

l'lI rasp you slowly,

no exfoliants needed,

my dextrous tongue all it takes

to set you free.

That's my cover, he murmurs;

for real, Scarlett, I'm a superhero

in Dayglo shell and cape,

supervillains quiver before me,

I give them a real tongue lashing,

flay the spandex from their sorry asses.

SB wakes with a start,

whirling snow settling all around,

his toothy tongue lolls, sore & twitching—

something has shredded

the long white sofa

to its bare wood frame.