after umpteenth heat wave
cooked since onset of summer
sizzled Delaware Valley
a few yesterdays ago
before and including May 20th, 2026.
Said geographical area composed of counties
located in Southeastern Pennsylvania,
South Jersey, Delaware, and
Eastern Shore of Maryland.
and in general a massive,
early-season heat dome
blanketed much
of the Eastern United States,
bringing widespread heat advisories
and potentially seedy
disc com bob yule hated
record-breaking temperatures,
whereat tens of millions of people
experienced dangerous
"feels-like" conditions
and high temperatures from the
Mid-Atlantic up into New England.
Sweltering temperatures
figuratively gripped human zoo
bipedal hominids (yours truly,
an olive - garden variety simian)
seek much sought after shade
under whirled wide webbed yew
offered protection from the sheltering sky,
which heavenly reflection within
shining sea witnessed wahoo,
whereat fisherman angling
to encompass vantage point to view
how flora and fauna cook née stew
scorched wildlife
postpone impossible mission
to search and rescue
despite bucket brigade lined in a queue
to stanch imminent wildfires
sparked by lightning striking
dry as kindling tinder
linkedin with El Niño and climate change
omnipresent phenomenon offered preview,
and for the yet to be born Homo sapiens sapiens
who will more easily
adapt to an environment
courtesy survival of the fittest
with a whole
well mannered class of nouveau
species and genus and
some donned in Moo moo
(or muumuu) most
commonly refers to
a loose, brightly colored,
flowery dress of Hawaiian origin
also could be a playful term
for a cow or a sound
mimicking one, or serve
as Caribbean slang for a silly person.
Weather records
(one for the books) charted mercury
rising hot enough to melt tar,
which indicates global warming
quite evident I fear,
what with mean temperatures
from January – May 2026 (thus far)
noticeably above norm for this time of year
prognosticators foretell forecasts
per this third planet from the star,
which inhabitants upon Mother Earth
burden of responsibility must bear
billions of people scrabbling
like cockroaches on a hot stove
many a Johnny come lately
"See how they run
like pigs from a gun,
see how they fly"
thru soupy wanton pollutants
as global warming
ratchets up barometric millibar
dialing up operator
viz greenhouse effect,
which serious scenario scientists fear
correlation from profligate offal ways
traced from freed genie in the jar,
no longer stretch of imagination
affects mankind didst sear
since row bucked day of reckoning,
whence Prometheus set stage for war
pitting mankind against Gaia
urgent messages we failed to hear.
Dystopian forecast impossible mission to avoid
since doomsday thoughts pervade consciousness
after perusing newsworthy information
globe trotting correspondents riskily employed
imperiling their life and limb to acquire
truthful natural and/or human interest stories
occurring across all
four corners of oblate spheroid,
i.e. world wide web,
whereby Earth situated
within nebulous void.
I try mine darnedest
to maintain optimistic aire
all the while gleaning portending
apocalyptic intimations
courtesy human engineered phenomenon
all the more rhyme
and reason to beware
Homo sapiens sapiens
on brink of armageddon,
especially when trustworthy cognoscere
a Latin verb that translates to
"to get to know,"
"to become acquainted with,
"or "to recognize"
painstakingly document their research
and without lacking hesitation declare
drastic paradigm shift away
from dependence on nuclear
energy and fossil fuels everywhere
else climate change could bitta bing
bitta bang hasten global warming,
where wicked watery wasteland
wreaked bleak soggy frontier
backed by popular demand
majority trumpets grandpoobear
for president, he
who with coiffed,
donned, and groomed hair
actually he got bewigged courtesy fake
orange toupee, which got blown away
while he hoisted himself
with his own petard.
Imagine if ye will - one immense
ferocious geographical, diametrical,
and cosmological phenomena
opposite that of Polar Vortex
(perhaps an apropos
nom de plume
would be Hades Furnace)
asphyxiating, clapping,
and encapsulating thee
entire oblate spheroid planet
where most if not all
plants and animals
will sizzle and fry
under an unforgiving
and unrelenting star.
Judgement day could be similarly
hot as blazing saddles, or cold
as a witch’s tat of a tit,
which constant reminders
during Spartan, slated singe shearing,
stoic upbringing inured Lutherans
to bite the figurative bullet
(which melted in your mouth
instead of your hands
like soft melted caramel)
during those scorching, sea-sickening,
and sunstroke unbearable vaporizing winds.
No matter the near future
promises refreshing temperatures
considerably cooler to chill
holed deep within man cave,
(especially with central air conditioning
set at sixty six degrees,
and a box and desk fan
blowing pleasant air), nevertheless
I still lose out viz zit
B52 headed by exertion
as a zero sum plain game.
Just look back at the darkening sky
yesterday at seventeen hundred hours
where a fast moving
cold front zipped at lightspeed,
and noticeable relief already
sundered with lightning speed
bowed Cold Sassy Tree
by Olive Ann Burns
will plainly be in sight
requiring me to keep
modifying the poem
impossible aery mission
to keep readers informed
how the weather turns on a dime.