Classic Poem

In prime of pride, when Venus minde to Junos rites aspirde,
A wealthie cruste to catch her up her father then desirde;
Perusing well his subjectes states, who best might be her feare,
At length hee chus'de a Croydon chuffe to wooe his daughter deare;
Whose wealth, I do confesse, was great, y gott by endlesse toyle
At smithes forge, with daily heate his apish face did broyle.
This gallant squire a wooing rid, his face bee grimde with dust,
And comming to her fathers house this daintie dame he bust:
Who at the first this lady bright some monster thought to bee,
Retyring backe affright shee was his uglye shape to see;
But in the ende her fathers threates, and Vulcans gifts full brave,
Did force her daintie minde to yeelde this crabtree peece to have.
The marriage rites in hast were wrought in presence of them all,
Then hee this pearelesse dame convayde unto his rusticke hall,
Whereas, the rest solemnised, her friends they did depart,
The which once done, then streight begunne the summe of all her smart;
For hee fell to his former toyle before the dawning day,
Where bouncing blowes on stythie smit the sturdie steele to tame,
(Debard of rest) did force her wish to tast of wedlockes game,
And as it is no newes to tell at all, nor seeming straunge,
How lovers they do never lacke whose mindes bee bent to chaunge.
Here mightie Mars, ycleaped God of warre and battell ray,
Enforste to yeeld as Cupids thrall, and eke his hestes obey,
Determined to give attempt, to fraught his heart with blis:
Though conquest hard, yet glorie great, quoth hee, the guerdon is.
Before her eyes his siege he plantes, like Phœbus rayes that shan,
Assault hee gave, shee did resist, hee made no batterie than.
But one repulse his valiaunt heart in no respect amasde,
Hee shot againe, the bulwarkes fell, and all the walles were raisde.
The fort thus wonne, as hee did wish, hee trode on pricking thornes
To gaine the spoile of Vulcans toile, and arme his head with hornes:
The which without resistaunce great hee joyed at his will,
But jelousie the gulfe did force to feare and dread that ill.
Which in the end when true hee found, hee framed by his arte
A chaine to tie these lovers fast, so that they might not starte,
And then for all the Gods hee sent, to see this laughing game,
Where they, in meede of pleasures past, received open shame.
Loe! here the bitter fruites wherewith such mariages be fraught,
Where wealth doth winne the womans will, and vertue set at naught.
Such chaunce may hap to the old snudge, inforst by greedie gaine,
Where pence possese the daughters love, the man shee doth disdaine.
And so fare well: at this my verse, mee thinkes, I heare thee snuffe,
But doggrell rime were farre to good to greete a dunghill chuffe.