Classic Poem

Herkens to my tale that I shall here shewe,
For of suche mervels I have herde fewe;
If any of them be a ly that I tell here-efter,
I wolde I were as bare as the bishop of Chester!
As I went fro Dover to Durram I met by the street
A fox and a fulmart had fiftene feet.
The skate stalkede on hill and tight off her skin;
The codling cald at the churche-dore and bad let him in.
The samun sang the hy mass, the hering was the clark,
The porpos at the organs—ther was a golly wark!
Ther was a gret offering that ilke day,
For ther was alle that I rekon, upon this array:
Waspes and oysteres and gret cart-sadels,
Muskettes in mortrous, caudrons and ladels,
The pikerel and the perche, the minnows and the roche,
The burbottes and the stikelbakes, the flounder and the loche.
The hadok hid behind, seen wolde he not be;
With him rode the gurnard, seemly for to see.
Yet was ther more, the sooth if I you telle,
The conger and the wesel rode on a plough-whelle;
The keling and the thornbake and the gret whalle,
The crabe and the loppester yet were they ther alle.
Eche one tooke a penny of their purs and offerd at the mass;
The oyster offerd ii d. and saide he wolde pay no lass.
When they this offring made, the sooth if I you say,
The Pame Sonday befel that yere on Midsummer-day. . . .
All this I saw that I have here tolde
And many mo mervelles upon Cotteswolde;
But I them forgat as I went by the way;
Therfor at this time no more can I tel nor say.
But God, as He made us, and mend us He may,
Save us and send us some drink or we dey!