If

IF LIFE were never bitter,
And love were always sweet,
Then who would care to borrow
A moral from to-morrow —
If Thames would always glitter,
And joy would ne'er retreat,
If life were never bitter,
And love were always sweet?

If Care were not the waiter
Behind a fellow's chair,
When easy-going sinners
Sit down to Richmond dinners,
And life's swift stream flows straighter —
By Jove, it would be rare
If Care were not the waiter
Behind a fellow's chair.

If wit were always radiant,
And wine were always iced,
And bores were kicked out straightway
Through a convenient gateway;
Then down the years' long gradient
'Twere sad to be enticed;
If wit were always radiant,
And wine were always iced.
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