Classic Poem

(I F I Only Had A H EART )

(I F I Only Had THE N ERVE )

SCARECROW

VERSE
Said a scarecrow swingin' on a pole
To a blackbird sittin' on a fence,
“Oh! the Lord gave me a soul
But forgot to give me common sense.
If I had an ounce of common sense.”

REFRAIN

I could while away the hours
Conferrin' with the flow'rs,
Consultin' with the rain.
And my head, I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin',
If I only had a brain.
I'd unravel ev'ry riddle
For any individle
In trouble or in pain.
With the thoughts I'd be thinkin'
I could be another Lincoln,
If I only had a brain.
Oh, I could tell you why
The ocean's near the shore,
I could think of things I never thunk before,
And then I'd sit
And think some more.
I would not be just a nuffin',
My head all full of stuffin',
My heart all full of pain.
And perhaps I'd deserve you
And be even worthy erv you
If I only had a brain.
Only had a brain.

TIN WOODMAN

VERSE

Said a tinman rattlin' his gibs
To a strawman sad and weary-eyed,
“Oh! the Lord gave me tin ribs,
But forgot to put a heart inside.”
Then he banged his hollow chest and cried.

REFRAIN

When a man's an empty kettle
He should be on his mettle
And yet I'm torn apart.
Just because I'm presumin'
That I could be kinda human
If I only had a heart.
I'd be tender, I'd be gentle
And awful sentimental
Regarding love and art.
I'd be friends with the sparrows
And the boy that shoots the arrows,
If I only had a heart.
Picture me,
A balcony,
Above a voice sings low,
“Wherefore art thou, Romeo?”
I hear a beat.
Now sweet!
Just to register emotion,
“Jealousy,” “Devotion,”
And really feel the part.
I would stay young and chipper
And I'd lock it with a zipper
If I only had a heart.
Only had a heart.

COWARDLY LION

VERSE

Said a lion, poor neurotic lion,
To a miss who listened to him rave,
“Oh! the Lord made me a lion
But the Lord forgot to make me brave.”
Then his tail began to curl and wave.

REFRAIN

Life is sad, believe me, Missy, when
You're born to be a sissy,
Without the vim and verve.
But I could change my habits,
Never more be scared of rabbits
If I only had the nerve.
I'm afraid there's no denyin'
I'm just a dandy lion,
A fate I don't deserve.
But I could show my prowess,
Be a lion, not a mowess,
If I only had the nerve.
Oh, I'd
Be in my stride,
A king down to the core.
Oh, I'd roar the way I never roared before,
And then I'd rrrwoof,
And roar some more.
I would show the dinosaurus
Who's king around the forres',
A king they better serve.
Why, with my regal beezer
I could be another Caesar
If I only had the nerve.
Only had the nerve.