Classic Poem

A tar, but poorly prized,
Long, shambling, and unsightly,
Thrashed, bullied, and despised,
Was wretched JOE GOLIGHTLY.

He bore a workhouse brand;
No Pa or Ma had claimed him,
The Beadle found him, and
The Board of Guardians named him.

P'r'aps some Princess's son —
A beggar p'r'aps his mother.
HE rather thought the one,
I rather think the other.

He liked his ship at sea,
He loved the salt sea-water,
He worshipped junk, and he
Adored the First Lord's daughter.

The First Lord's daughter, proud,
Snubbed Earls and Viscounts nightly;
She sneered at Barts. aloud,
And spurned poor Joe Golightly.

Whene'er he sailed afar
Upon a Channel cruise, he
Unpacked his light guitar
And sang this ballad (Boosey):

Ballad

The moon is on the sea,
Willow!
The wind blows towards the lee,
Willow!
But though I sigh and sob and cry,
No Lady Jane for me,
Willow!

She says, " 'Twere folly quite,
Willow!
For me to wed a wight,
Willow!
Whose lot is cast before the mast " ;
And possibly she's right,
Willow!

His skipper (CAPTAIN JOYCE),
He gave him many a rating,
And almost lost his voice
From thus expostulating:

" Lay aft, you lubber, do!
What's come to that young man, JOE?
Belay! — " vast heaving! you!
Do kindly stop that banjo!

" I wish, I do — O lor"! —
You'd shipped aboard a trader:
ARE you a sailor or
A negro serenader? "

But still the stricken lad,
Aloft or on his pillow,
Howled forth in accents sad
His aggravating " Willow! "

Stern love of duty bad
Been JOYCE'S chiefest beauty;
Says he, " I love that lad,
But duty, damme! duty!

" Twelve months' black-hole, I say,
Where daylight never flashes;
And always twice a day
A good six dozen lashes! "

But JOSEPH had a mate,
A sailor stout and lusty,
A man of low estate,
But singularly trusty.

Says he, " Cheer hup, young JOE!
I'll tell you what I'm arter —
To that Fust Lord I'll go
And ax him for his darter.

" To that Fust Lord I'll go
And say you love her dearly. "
And JOE said (weeping low),
" I wish you would, sincerely! "

That sailor to that Lord
Went, soon as he had landed,
And of his own accord
An interview demanded.

Says he, with seaman's roll,
" My Captain (wot's a Tartar)
Guv JOE twelve months' black-hole,
For lovering your darter.

" He loves MISS LADY JANE
(I own she is his betters),
But if you'll jine them twain,
They'll free him from his fetters.

" And if so be as how
You'll let her come aboard ship,
I'll take her with me now. "
" Get out! " remarked his Lordship.

That honest tar repaired
To JOE upon the billow,
And told him how he'd fared.
JOE only whispered, " Willow! "

And for that dreadful crime
(Young sailors, learn to shun it)
He's working out his time;
In six months he'll have done it.