Classic Poem

You may have heard of the Politick Snout ,
Or a tale of a Tub with the bottom out ,
But scarce of a Parliament in a shitten Clout .
Which no body can deny .

'Twas Atkins first serv'd this Rump in with Mustard ,
The sawce was a compound of Courage and Custard ,
Sir Vane bless'd the Creature : Nol snufled & blusterd .
Which no body can deny .

The Right was then in Old Olivers Nose ,
But when the Devil of that did dispose ,
It descended from thence to the Rump in the cloze.
Which no body can deny .

Nor is it likely there to stay long,
The Retentive Faculties being gone,
The Juggle is stale , and Mony there's none
Which no body can deny .

The Secluded Member's made a Tryal
To Enter , but them the Rump did defie all
By the Ordinance of Self-denyal.
Which no body can deny .

Our Politique Doctor's do us Teach,
That a Blood-sucking Red-coat's as good as a Leech ,
To Relieve the Head, if applyed to the Breech.
Which no body can deny .

But never was such a Worm as Vane;
When the State scour'd last, it voided him then,
Yet now he's crept into the Rump again.
Which no body can deny .

Ludlow's Fart , was a Prophetique Trump:
(There was never any thing so Jump)
'Twas the very Type , of a Vote of this Rump .
Which no body can deny .

They say 'tis good Luck, when a Body rises
With the Rump upward, but he that advises
To Live in that Posture is none of the wisest.
Which no body can deny .

The Reason is worse , though the rime be untoward ,
When things proceed with the wrong end forward;
But they talk of sad news to the Rump from the Norward .
Which no body can deny .

'Twas a wonderfull thing the strength of that Part ,
At a Blast , it will take you a Team from a Cart:
And Blow a Man's Head away with a Fart .
Which no body can deny .

When our Brains are Sunck below the Middle ,
And our Consciences steer'd by the hey down-diddle ,
Then things will go round without a Fiddle.
Which no body can deny .

You may order the City with a Hand-Granado ,
Or the General with a Bastonado ,
But no way for a Rump like a Carbonado .
Which no body can deny .

To make us as famous in Counsel , as VVars ,
Here's Lenthal, a Speaker for mine — —
And Fleetwood is a Man of Mars .
Which no body can deny .

'Tis pity that Nedhams Fall'n into Disgrace,
For he orders a Bum with a marvailous Grace,
And ought to attend the Rump by his Place .
Which no body can deny .

Yet this is despight of all Disasters,
Although he hath Broken the Heads of his Masters ,
'Tis still his Profession, to give 'em all Plasters .
Which no body can deny .

Let 'em cry down the Pope, till their Throats are sore,
Their Design was to bring him in at the back door ,
For the Rump has a mind to the Scarlet-whore .
Which no body can deny .

And this is a truth at all hands confest,
However unskillfull in any of the rest;
The Rump speaks the Language of the Beast.
Which no body can deny .

They talk that Lambert is like to be try'd
For Treason and Buggery beside,
Because that he did the Rump bestride.
Which no body can deny .

The Rump's an old Story , if well understood
'Tis a thing dress'd up in a Parliaments Hood,
And lik't; but the Taile stands where the Head should.
Which no body can deny .

'Twould make a man scratch where it does not itch ,
To see forty Fools heads in one Politick breech,
And that — hugging the Nation as the Devil did the Witch .
Which no body can deny .

From rotten Members preserve our VVives:
From the mercy of a Rump , our Estates and our Lives
For they must needs go, whom the Devil drives.
Which no body can deny .