Classic Poem

I wish I would get sick and couldn't go;
I wish a fire would burn the school house down;
I wish we'd have at least ten feet of snow,
So people couldn't get around the town;
I wish I'd get a black eye in a fight —
I got to speak a piece to-morrow night.

I wish I'd lose my pants or get 'em torn;
I hope that Ma can't find my shirt or hat
And, having nothing decent to be worn,
She'll say: " I cannot let you go like that! "
But Ma will have my clothes laid out, all right —
I got to speak a piece to-morrow night.

Some fellows can get sick and stay away;
Sometimes the school house burns the night before;
Bill Green once broke his leg the very day
He had to speak a piece, and Jimmy Moore
Tore out his Sunday pants right where he sat —
But I don't ever have such luck as that.

Nothing I eat will make me sick to-day,
I couldn't get a black eye if I tried;
Ma's got my Sunday clothes all put away;
I wish I knew a place where I could hide.
But I'll be there, dressed up and frightened white —
I got to speak a piece to-morrow night.