Classic Poem

My good friend Mr. Pinkapank abominates the Hun:
He'd like to see the tribe extinct, when all is said and done.
He's for the war from A to Z, a patriot true and tried —
Provided all his daily wants are duly gratified.

My good friend Mr. Pinkapank deplores an early peace:
Until the Hun is down and out the conflict must not cease.
I never knew a person so implacable as he —
Provided he can have four lumps of sugar in his tea.

My good friend Mr. Pinkapank says Germany must pay
For all she did in Belgium, if it takes till Judgment Day.
He's for the little peoples — Roumanian, Serb, and Pole —
Provided he can have two pats of butter with his roll.

My good friend Mr. Pinkapank detests a pacifist
And argues very truly that " he never would be missed. "
He'll bawl out pacifism in a way to make you cry —
Provided he has cream enough to drench his apple pie.

My good friend Mr. Pinkapank (to make a long tale short)
Is a very warlike person of a very ruthless sort.
I never knew so mild a man to be so fond of strife —
Provided he is not required to change his mode of life.