Classic Poem

YOU 've seen the Play — and I'll unfold the P OET ,
To whom (stray'd sheep of a pure flock ) we owe it,
He's a chance blessing — somewhat strangely flung us!
Dropt, from the clouds of innocence , among us!
Slipt through the K IRKS loose pale, we gave him quarter;
Poor soul! he had like to've been the muse's Martyr:
When stage-plays! and abominations! took him,
Grace , and the shepherds of the S AINTS forsook him.
'Twas given thenceforth, to S ATAN'S power, to win him;
— The root of the sound matter was not in him.
Yet, tho' rebuk'd , full sore — he's no huge sinner . —
You'll scarce see one of his pure brethren , thinner.
Most sanctified of face! troth — I'm afraid,
If his looks lie not — the poor man's a maid!

The Bard, not carnal-minded , (say the curious,
How come th'unfleshly folks, to be so furious ?
Judge you the quarrel, right — we'll briefly show it:
— Good Plays give good instruction , said the P OET :
Vanity! cry'd the brethren — gross defilement!
And, so, the war broke out, past reconcilement .

Young Bays , provok'd, here drew his wrathful pen;
Shine forth, said he, my muse , on these dark men:
And prove , by dint of fair example , whether
Much goodness is not learnt , by coming hither .

But what he teaches, be to him alone:
I'll teach a secret lesson, of my own .

SAY they, of Plays , that men learn nothing by em?
I stand the stage's champion , and defy'em:
Who that has seen, to night, how I , a wife ,
Gave counsel , fit to've sav'd my spouse's life ,
Learns not this moral , past all contradiction,
That disobedient husbands — meet affliction?
That he's most happy , who his fetters eases ,
And lets his wiser wife — do — what she pleases.

This, for our sex's fame , his Play produces,
You see, all doctrines have their hidden uses:
To this — if the bluff brethren preach resistance ,
Let 'em, as they love safety , keep their distance ;
For, should we catch 'em, in our wrong'd dominion,
Stiff , as they are; we'll make 'em change opinion .