Classic Poem

I

SIR HENRY WAFFLE KC ( continuing )

Sir A NTHONY H ABBERTON , Justice and Knight,
Was enfeoffed of two acres of land
And it doesn't sound much till you hear that the site
Was a strip to the South of the Strand.

HIS LORDSHIP ( Obiter Dictum )

A strip to the South of the Strand
Is a good situation for land.
It is healthy and dry
And sufficiently high
And convenient on every hand.

II

SIR HENRY WAFFLE KC ( continuing )

Now Sir Anthony, shooting in Timberley Wood,
Was imprudent enough to take cold;
And he died without warning at six in the morning,
Because he was awfully old.

HIS LORDSHIP ( Obiter Dictum )

I have often been credibly told
That when people are awfully old
Though cigars are a curse
And strong waters are worse
There is nothing so fatal as cold.

III

SIR HENRY WAFFLE KC ( continuing )

But Archibald answered on hearing the news:
" I never move out till I must".
Which was all very jolly for Cestui que Use
But the Devil for Cestui que Trust .

HIS LORDSHIP ( Obiter Dictum )

The office of Cestui que Trust
Is reserved for the learned and just.
Any villain you choose
May be Cestui que Use ,
But a Lawyer for Cestui que Trust .

IV

SIR HENRY WAFFLE KC ( continuing )

Now the ruling laid down in Regina v. Brown
May be cited . . .

HIS LORDSHIP ( rising energetically )

You're wrong! It may not!
I've strained all my powers
For some thirty-six hours
To unravel this pestilent rot.

THE WHOLE COURT ( rising and singing in chorus )

Your Lordship is sound to the core.
It is nearly a quarter to four.
We've had quite enough of this horrible stuff
And we don't want to hear any more!

LITTLE SILLY MAN ( rising at the back of the Court )

Your Lordship is perfectly right.
He can't go on rhyming all night.
I suggest . . .
(He is gagged, bound and dragged off to a Dungeon).