Classic Poem

SENATOR HIRAM JOHNSON'S SONG

In the East in the stronghold of hidebound reaction
My views wear a rather conservative hue,
Which my friends all regard with intense satisfaction,
And it's pleasant for me, and it pleases Hearst too.
But out West where the trees grow to sizes excessive
The whole situation I find is reversed,
So I'm known to my friends as an ardent progressive,
Which is pleasant for me, and it's pleasant for Hearst.

Refrain

For East is East and West is West
And never the twain shall meet, Hooray!
In the effete East I fight the League,
Out West I'm the foe of the Jap intrigue.
I'm the fearless friend of what helps me best
Toward the presidential seat.
For East is East and West is West
And never the twain shall meet.