Classic Poem

It's of a tradesman and his wife,
I heard the other day,
Who did kick up a glorious row,
They live across the way.
The husband proved himself a fool,
When his money was all spent,
He called upon his wife, my life,
To know which way it went.

So she reckoned up and showed him,
And she showed him all complete,
How five and twenty shillings was
Expended in a week.

He said my wages are all gone,
And it does me perplex.
Indeed, said she, then list to me,
My bonny cock of wax.
Continually you make a noise,
And fill the house with strife,
I will tell you where your money goes,
I will upon my life.

There is two and threepence house rent,
Now attend to me, she said;
There is four shillings goes for meat,
And three and ninepence bread;
To wash your nasty dirty shirt
There is sixpence-halfpenny soap,
There's one and eightpence coals, old boy,
And tenpence wood and coke.

There's fourpence for milk and cream,
And one and twopence malt,
Three halfpence goes for vinegar
And twopence halfpenny salt;
A penny goes for mustard,
Three halfpence goes for thread,
And you gave me threepence the other night
For half a baked sheep's head.

A red herring every morning
Is fivepence farthing a week;
Sometimes you send me out for fish,
You say you can't eat meat.
Last Monday night home you got drunk,
There was ninepence went for capers,
You had a penny box of congreves,
And a halfpenny baked potato.

There's a penny goes for pepper too,
As you must understand;
Twopence halfpenny soda, starch and blue,
And a farthing's worth of sand.
Fourpence halfpenny goes for candles,
Three-farthings goes for matches,
And a penn'orth of pieces of cordury,
You had to mend your breeches.

A shilling potatoes, herbs and greens,
Tenpence butter now you see,
Sixpence coffee, eightpence sugar,
And one and fourpence tea.
There is twopence goes for this thing,
A penny for that and t'other;
Last night you broke a chamber pot,
And I had to buy another.

There's eightpence for tobacco,
And seven-farthings swipes,
There is threepence halfpenny snuff,
And twopence halfpenny tripes;
A penny you owed for strings
Over at the cobbler's shop,
And you know last Sunday morning
You had a bottle of ginger pop.

There's twopence goes for blacking,
And eightpence halfpenny cheese,
A three-farthing rushlight every night,
To watch the bugs and fleas.
And while every night to a public house
You go to drink and sing,
I go to the wine vaults over the way
To have a drop of gin.

So reckon up again, old boy,
And you will find complete,
How five and twenty shillings were
Expended in one week.