Classic Poem

1

Oh, I had a horse and his name was Bill.
And when he ran he couldn't stand still.
He ran away — one day —
And also I ran with him.

2

He ran so fast he could not stop.
He ran into a barber shop,
And fell exhaustionized — with his eyeteeth —
In the barber's left shoulder.

3

I had a gal and her name was Daisy
And when she sang the cat went crazy
With deliriums — St. Vituses —
And all kinds of cataleptics.

4

One day she sang a song about
A man who turned himself inside out
And jumped — into the river —
He was so very sleepy.

5

I'm going out in the woods next year
And shoot for beer — and not for deer —
I am — I ain't —
I'm a great sharpshootress.

6

At shooting birds I am a beaut.
There is no bird I cannot shoot
In the eye, in the ear, in the teeth,
In the fin(g)ers.

7

Oh, I went up in a balloon so big,
The people on the earth they looked like a pig,
Like a mice — like a katydid — like flieses —
And like fleasens.

8

The balloon turned up with its bottom side higher.
It fell on the wife of a country squire.
She made a noise like a dog hound, like a steam whistle,
And also like dynamite.

9

Oh, what could you do in a case like that?
Oh, what could you do but stamp on your hat,
And your toothbrush — and everything —
That's helpless.