Classic Poem

He:

When you're out in smart society
And you suddenly get bad news,
You mustn't show anxiety She:
And proceed to sing the blues. He:
For example, tell me something sad
Something awful, something grave,
And I'll show you how a Racquet Club lad
Would behave. She:
Have you heard the coast of Maine
Just got hit by a hurricane? He:
Well, did you evah! What a swell party this is. She:
Have you heard that poor, dear Blanche
Got run down by an avalanche? He:
Well, did you evah! What a swell party this is.
It's great, it's grand.
It's Wonderland!
It's tops, it's first.
It's DuPont, it's Hearst!
What soup, what fish.
That meat, what a dish!
What salad, what cheese! She:
Pardon me one moment, please,
Have you heard that Uncle Newt
Forgot to open his parachute? He:
Well, did you evah! What a swell party this is. She:
Old Aunt Susie just came back
With her child and the child is black. He:
Well, did you evah! What a swell party this is. He:
Have you heard it's in the stars
Next July we collide with Mars? She:
Well, did you evah! What a swell party this is. He:
Have you heard that Grandma Doyle
Thought the Flit was her mineral oil? She:
Well, did you evah! What a swell party this is.
What Daiquiris!
What Sherry! Please!
What Burgundy!
What great Pommery!
What brandy, wow!
What whiskey, here's how!
What gin and what beer! He:
Will you sober up, my dear?
Have you heard Professor Munch
Ate his wife and divorced his lunch? She:
Well, did you evah! What a swell party this is. He:
Have you heard that Mimmsie Starr
Just got pinched in the Astor Bar? She:
Well, did you evah! What a swell party this is! She:

Have you heard that poor old Ted
Just turned up in an oyster bed? He:
Well, did you evah! What a swell party this is. She:
Lilly Lane has louzy luck,
She was there when the light'ning struck. He:
Well, did you evah! What a swell party this is.
It's fun, it's fine,
It's too divine.
It's smooth, it's smart.
It's Rodgers, it's Hart!
What debs, what stags.
What gossip, what gags!
What feathers, what fuss! She:
Just between the two of us,
Reggie's rather scatterbrained,
He dove in when the pool was drained. He:
Well, did you evah! What a swell party this is. She:
Mrs. Smith in her new Hup
Crossed the bridge when the bridge was up. He:
Well, did you evah! What a swell party this is! He:
Have you heard that Mrs. Cass
Had three beers and then ate the glass? She:
Well, did you evah! What a swell party this is. He:
Have you heard that Captain Craig
Breeds termites in his wooden leg? She:
Well, did you evah! What a swell party this is.
It's fun, it's fresh.
It's post depresh.
It's Shangrilah.
It's Harper's Bazaar!
What clothes, quel chic,
What pearls, they're the peak!
What glamour, what cheer! He:
This will simply slay you dear,
Kitty isn't paying calls,
She slipped over Niagara Falls. She:
Well, did you evah! What a swell party this is. He:
Have you heard that Mayor Hague
Just came down with bubonic plague? She:
Well, did you evah! What a swell party this is.