Classic Poem

OH! what ef little childerns all
Wuz big as parunts is!
Nen I'd join pa's Masonic Hall
An' wear gold things like his!
An' you'd " receive, " like ma, an' be
My " hostuss " — An', gee-whizz!
We'd alluz have ice-cream, ef we
Wuz big as parunts is!

Wiv all the money mens is got —
We'd buy a Store wiv that, —
Ist candy, pies an' cakes, an' not
No drygoods — 'cept a hat-
An'-plume fer you — an' " plug " fer me,
An' clothes like ma's an' his ,
'At on'y ist fit us — ef we
Wuz big as parunts is!

An' — ef we had a little boy
An' girl like me an' you, —
Our Store'd keep ever' kind o' toy
They'd ever want us to! —
We'd hire " Old Kriss " to 'tend to be
The boss of all the biz
An' ist " charge thing — ef we
Wuz big as parunts is!