Classic Poem

JOHN

Now , Fanny, 'tis too bad, you teazen maid!
How leäte you be a' come! Where have ye staÿè'd?
How long you have a-meäde me wait about!
I thought you werden gwain to come ageän:
I had a mind to goo back hwome ageän.
This idden when you promis'd to come out.

FANNY

Now 'tidden any good to meäke a row,
Upon my word, I cooden come till now.
Vor I've a-been kept in all day by mother,
At work about woone little job an' t'other.
If you do want to goo, though, don't ye staÿè
Vor me a minute longer, I do praÿè.

JOHN

I thought you mid be out wi' Jemmy Bleäke,

FANNY

An' why be out wi' him, vor goodness' seäke?

JOHN

You walk'd o' Zunday evenen wi'n, d'ye know,
You went vrom church a-hitch'd up in his eärm

FANNY

Well, if I did, that werden any harm.
Lauk! that is zome'at to teäke notice o'.

JOHN

He took ye roun' the middle at the stile,
An' kiss'd ye twice 'ithin the ha'f a mile.

FANNY

Ees, at the stile, because I shoulden vall,
He took me hold to help me down, that's all;
An' I can't zee what very mighty harm
He could ha' done a-lenden me his eärm.
An' as vor kissen o' me, if he did,
I didden ax en to, nor zay he mid:
An' if he kiss'd me dree times, or a dozen,
What harm wer it? Why idden he my cousin?
An' I can't zee, then, what there is amiss
In cousin Jem's jist gi'en me a kiss.

JOHN

Well, he shan't kiss ye, then; you shan't be kiss'd
By his girt ugly chops, a lanky houn'!
If I do zee'n, I'll jist wring up my vist
An' knock en down.
I'll squot his girt pug-nose, if I don't miss en;
I'll warn I'll spweil his pretty lips vor kissen!

FANNY

Well, John, I'm sure I little thought to vind
That you had ever sich a jealous mind.
What then! I s'pose that I must be a dummy,
An' mussen goo about nor wag my tongue
To any soul, if he's a man, an' young;
Or else you'll work yourzelf up mad wi' passion,
An' talk away o' gi'en vo'k a drashen,
An' breaken bwones, an' beäten heads to pummy!
If you've a-got sich jealous ways about ye,
I'm sure I should be better off'ithout ye.

JOHN

Well, if girt Jemmy have a-won your heart,
We'd better break the coortship off, an' peärt.

FANNY

He won my heart! There, John, don't talk sich stuff;
Don't talk noo mwore, vor you've a-zaid enough.
If I'd a-lik'd another mwore than you,
I'm sure I shoulden come to meet ye zoo;
Vor I've a-twold to father many a storry,
An' took o' mother many a scwolden vor ye.

[weeping.]

But 'twull be over now, vor you shan't zee me
Out wi' ye noo mwore, to pick a quarrel wi' me.

JOHN

Well, Fanny, I woon't zay noo mwore, my dear.
Let's meäke it up. Come, wipe off thik there tear.
Let's goo an' zit o' top o' theäse here stile,
An' rest, an' look about a little while.

FANNY

Now goo away, you crabbed jealous chap!
You shan't kiss me, — you shan't! I'll gi' ye a slap.

JOHN

Then you look smilen; don't you pout an' toss
Your head so much, an' look so very cross.

FANNY

Now, John! don't squeeze me roun' the middle zoo.
I woon't stop here noo longer, if you do.
Why, John! be quiet, wull ye? Fie upon it!
Now zee how you've a-wrumpl'd up my bonnet!
Mother 'ill zee it after I'm at hwome,
An' gi'e a guess directly how it come.

JOHN

Then don't you zay that I be jealous, Fanny.

FANNY

I wull: vor you be jealous, Mister Jahnny.
There's zomebody a-comen down the groun'
Towards the stile. Who is it? Come, get down.
I must run hwome, upon my word then, now;
If I do stay, they'll kick up sich a row.
Good night. I can't stay now.

JOHN

Then good night, Fanny!
Come out a-bit to-morrow evenen, can ye?