Classic Poem

1

Since thou'rt condemn'd to wed a thing,
And that same thing must be a she;
And that same she to thee must cling
For term of life of her or thee;
I'll tell thee what this thing shall bee.

2

I would not have her virtuous,
For such a wife I ne'er did see;
And 'tis a madness to suppose
What never was, nor e'er shall bee;
To seem so is enough to thee.

3

Do not desire she should be wise,
Yet let her have a waggish wit;
No circumventing subtilties,
But pretty slights to please and hit,
And make us laugh at her, or it.

4

Nor must thou have one very just,
Lest she repay thee in thy kind;
And yet she must be true to trust;
Or if to sport she has a mind,
Let her be sure to keep thee blind.

5

One part of valour let her have;
Not to return but suffer ill,
To her own passion be no slave
But to thy laws obedient still,
And unto thine submit her will.

6

Be thou content she have a tongue,
That's active so it be not lowd;
And so she be straight-limb'd and young,
Though not with beauty much endow'd,
No matter, so she be but proud.

7

Tir'd she should be, not satisfi'd,
But alwaies tempting thee for more,
So cunningly she been't espy'd
Let her act all parts like a whore,
So she been't one, I'ld ask no more.

8

But above all things, let her be
Short liv'd and rich, no strong-dock'd Jone ,
That dares to live till fifty-three,
Find this wife, if thou must have one;
But there's no wife so good as none.