Who Knows?
Some authors tell us gaily —
I mean the most veracious —
Mankind are getting daily
Less Pug — and less Men — dacious
And by reading Watt and Paley
Grow virtuous and sagacious
Good Gracious!
Our Ancestors — sad fellows!
Loved ignorance and yawning
But such pistons pipes and bellows
Our improving age is spawning,
As steam-engines impel us,
That day is sooner dawning —
So they tell us!
On rail-roads — our reliance —
Without any tedious poking,
We shall fly through art and science,
Hissing, fizzing, snorting, smoking;
Setting distance at defiance,
And Time himself provoking —
No Joking!
O'er Experience lightly glancing
Like a steamer on the Ocean —
Our ethic speed enhancing —
Locomotiving Devotion —
And in politics advancing,
With a double compound motion,
I've a notion —
Each day our new condition
Will display some strange example —
Some striking proposition —
Or extraordinary sample
Of increasing expedition
On the road so straight and ample
From Perdition .
For instance — maid and lover
Being all, they were appearing
No faults will e'er discover
By seeing or by hearing
But will find fresh Cupids hover
By new Honey — moons so cheering —
How endearing!
High pressure education
Will so increase wives' worth,
That no innocent flirtation
Jealous doubts will e'er bring forth,
But the husband's situation
Make of bachelors a dearth
Heaven and Earth!
No spendthrift heir will borrow
On Post-Obits , whose huge growth,
If Dad should die tomorrow,
Would wake his grief for both —
Unless to soothe his sorrow
He could make — tho' somewhat loath
Matrimony — Matter o'money .
Great men no more will savor
Base flattery — but flee it —
Nor pay with gold and favor
Vile sycophants who knee it —
And if ever they should waver
Will have the grace to see it:
So be it .
From one pole to the other,
No rogue will soon be found
Like brothers with a brother
Our neighbors all around
Will live with one another
In peace the most profound
Above ground!
Our jails, as they assure us,
Will be all dilapidation,
Hang-men needless to secure us —
Hulks in utter desolation,
Man — scelerisque purus
And law one long vacation —
O! Creation!
On state-house and state prison
Solemn owls will soon renew —
When the full-orbed moon has risen,
Grave questions, not a few —
Seeking falsehood to bedizen
Too-hoo! Too-hoo! Too-hoo!
To Who?
We shall shew on all occasions
Frank hearts, and honest faces;
Politicians in high stations,
Need not mask to keep their places;
Nor dear friends, and near relations
Waste a Carnival's grimaces,
On good graces .
All simple, all laborious —
We shall be, without hypocrisy,
Good, great, but not vain — glorious —
The Earth one wide Pantocracy —
Philanthropy victorious —
And Congress no Logocracy,
Uprodrious!
With all our cares suspended,
And a shirt and loaf of bread each —
The currency amended —
Every trouble we shall head — reach —
No Tariffs apprehended,
Or taxes to distress us —
God bless us!
Our wit shall all be Attic —
All gold our circulation —
Melo-comic — not dramatic
Our addresses to the Nation
And our States so Democratic
Will refute Repudiation,
Degradation .
With no Bank-notes — unbankable —
No MONSTERS to affright us —
Newspapers almost frankable —
With Vetos to delight us —
And Presidents unthankable,
Serving twice before they slight us —
O Titus!
But this sweet Arcadian season —
This specific for all woes —
This Age of Perfect Reason,
And Millenium of Repose —
We hope it is no treason —
Are they Poets' dreams? — or Prose?
Who knows?
I mean the most veracious —
Mankind are getting daily
Less Pug — and less Men — dacious
And by reading Watt and Paley
Grow virtuous and sagacious
Good Gracious!
Our Ancestors — sad fellows!
Loved ignorance and yawning
But such pistons pipes and bellows
Our improving age is spawning,
As steam-engines impel us,
That day is sooner dawning —
So they tell us!
On rail-roads — our reliance —
Without any tedious poking,
We shall fly through art and science,
Hissing, fizzing, snorting, smoking;
Setting distance at defiance,
And Time himself provoking —
No Joking!
O'er Experience lightly glancing
Like a steamer on the Ocean —
Our ethic speed enhancing —
Locomotiving Devotion —
And in politics advancing,
With a double compound motion,
I've a notion —
Each day our new condition
Will display some strange example —
Some striking proposition —
Or extraordinary sample
Of increasing expedition
On the road so straight and ample
From Perdition .
For instance — maid and lover
Being all, they were appearing
No faults will e'er discover
By seeing or by hearing
But will find fresh Cupids hover
By new Honey — moons so cheering —
How endearing!
High pressure education
Will so increase wives' worth,
That no innocent flirtation
Jealous doubts will e'er bring forth,
But the husband's situation
Make of bachelors a dearth
Heaven and Earth!
No spendthrift heir will borrow
On Post-Obits , whose huge growth,
If Dad should die tomorrow,
Would wake his grief for both —
Unless to soothe his sorrow
He could make — tho' somewhat loath
Matrimony — Matter o'money .
Great men no more will savor
Base flattery — but flee it —
Nor pay with gold and favor
Vile sycophants who knee it —
And if ever they should waver
Will have the grace to see it:
So be it .
From one pole to the other,
No rogue will soon be found
Like brothers with a brother
Our neighbors all around
Will live with one another
In peace the most profound
Above ground!
Our jails, as they assure us,
Will be all dilapidation,
Hang-men needless to secure us —
Hulks in utter desolation,
Man — scelerisque purus
And law one long vacation —
O! Creation!
On state-house and state prison
Solemn owls will soon renew —
When the full-orbed moon has risen,
Grave questions, not a few —
Seeking falsehood to bedizen
Too-hoo! Too-hoo! Too-hoo!
To Who?
We shall shew on all occasions
Frank hearts, and honest faces;
Politicians in high stations,
Need not mask to keep their places;
Nor dear friends, and near relations
Waste a Carnival's grimaces,
On good graces .
All simple, all laborious —
We shall be, without hypocrisy,
Good, great, but not vain — glorious —
The Earth one wide Pantocracy —
Philanthropy victorious —
And Congress no Logocracy,
Uprodrious!
With all our cares suspended,
And a shirt and loaf of bread each —
The currency amended —
Every trouble we shall head — reach —
No Tariffs apprehended,
Or taxes to distress us —
God bless us!
Our wit shall all be Attic —
All gold our circulation —
Melo-comic — not dramatic
Our addresses to the Nation
And our States so Democratic
Will refute Repudiation,
Degradation .
With no Bank-notes — unbankable —
No MONSTERS to affright us —
Newspapers almost frankable —
With Vetos to delight us —
And Presidents unthankable,
Serving twice before they slight us —
O Titus!
But this sweet Arcadian season —
This specific for all woes —
This Age of Perfect Reason,
And Millenium of Repose —
We hope it is no treason —
Are they Poets' dreams? — or Prose?
Who knows?
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