Classic Poem

I. THE COURTIER .

Long have I lived in Court, yet learned not all this while
To sell poor suitors, smoke: nor where I hate to smile;
Superiors to adore, inferiors to despise,
To fly from such as fall, to follow such as rise;
To cloak a poor desire under a rich array,
Nor to aspire by vice, though 'twere the quicker way.

II. THE DIVINE .

My calling is Divine, and I from God am sent;
I will no chop-church be, nor pay my patron rent;
Nor yield to sacrilege; but, like the kind true mother,
Rather will lose all the child, than part it with another.
Much wealth I will not seek; nor worldly masters serve,
So to grow rich and fat, while my poor flock doth sterve.

III. THE SOLDIER .

My occupation is the noble trade of Kings,
The trial that decides the highest right of things;
Though Mars my master be, I do not Venus love,
Nor honour Bacchus oft, nor often swear by Jove;
Of speaking of myself I all occasion shun,
And rather love to do, than boast what I have done.

IV. THE LAWYER .

The law my calling is; my robe, my tongue, my pen,
Wealth and opinion gain, and make me Judge of men.
The known dishonest cause I never did defend,
Nor spun out suits in length, but wished and sought an end;
Nor counsel did bewray, nor of both parties take;
Nor ever took I fee for which I never spake.

V. THE PHYSICIAN .

I study to uphold the slippery state of man,
Who dies when we have done the best and all we can.
From practice and from books I draw my learned skill,
Not from the known receipt of 'pothecaries' bill.
The earth my faults doth hide, the world my cures doth see;
What youth and time effect is oft ascribed to me.

VI. THE MERCHANT .

My trade doth everything to every land supply,
Discover unknown coasts, strange countries doth ally;
I never did forestall, I never did engross,
Nor custom did withdraw, though I returned with loss.
I thrive by fair exchange, by selling and by buying,
And not by Jewish use, reprisal, fraud, or lying.

VII. THE COUNTRY GENTLEMAN .

Though strange outlandish spirits praise towns, and country scorn,
The country is my home, I dwell where I was born:
There profit and command with pleasure I partake,
Yet do not hawks and dogs my sole companions make.
I rule, but not oppress; end quarrels, not maintain;
See towns, but dwell not there t'abridge my charge or train.

VII. THE BACHELOR .

How many things as yet are dear alike to me,
The field, the horse, the dog, love, arms, or liberty!
I have no wife as yet, whom I may call my own;
I have no children yet, that by my name are known.
Yet if I married were, I would not wish to thrive,
If that I could not tame the veriest shrew alive.

IX. THE MARRIED MAN .

I only am the man among all married men,
That do not wish the priest to be unlinked agen;
And though my shoe did wring, I would not make my moan,
Nor think my neighbour's chance more happy than my own,
Yet court I not my wife, but yield observance due,
Being neither fond, nor cross, nor jealous, nor untrue.

X. THE WIFE .

The first of all our sex came from the side of man,
I thither am returned, from whence our sex began:
I do not visit oft, nor many, when I do;
I tell my mind to few, and that in counsel too.
I seem not sick in health, nor sullen but in sorrow;
I care for somewhat else than what to wear to-morrow.

XI. THE WIDOW .

My dying husband knew how much his death would grieve me,
And therefore left me wealth to comfort and relieve me:
Though I no more will have, I must not love disdain;
Penelope herself did suitors entertain.
And yet to draw on such as are of best esteem,
Nor younger than I am, nor richer will I seem.

XII. THE MAID .

I marriage would forswear, but that I hear men tell,
That she that dies a maid must lead an ape in hell.
Therefore if Fortune come, I will not mock and play,
Nor drive the bargain on till it be driven away.
Titles and lands I like, yet rather fancy can
A man that wanteth gold than gold that wants a man.