Classic Poem

He was bare — we don't want to be rude —
(His condition was owing to drink)
They say his condition was nood,
Which amounts to the same thing, we think
(We mean his condition , we think,
'Twas a naked condition, or nood ,
Which amounts to the same thing, we think.)

Uncovered he lay on the grass
That shrivelled and shrunk; and he stayed
Three hot summer days, while the glass
Was one hundred and ten in the shade.
(We nearly remarked that he laid .
But that was bad grammar we thought —
It does sound bucolic, we think
It smacks of the barnyard —
Of farming — of pullets in short.)

Unheeded he lay on the dirt;
Beside him a part of his dress,
A tattered and threadbare old shirt,
Was raised as a flag of distress.
(On a stick, like a flag of distress —
Reversed — we mean that the tail-end was up
Half-mast — on a stick — an evident flag of distress.)

Perhaps in his dreams he persood
Bright visions of heavenly bliss;
And artists who study the nood
Never saw such a study as this.
The " luggage " went by, and the guard
Looked out and his eyes fell on Grice —
We fancy he looked at him hard,
We think that he looked at him twice.

They say (if the telegram's true)
When he woke up he wondered (good Lord!)
" Why the engine-man didn't heave to —
Why the train didn't take him aboard. "
And now, by the case of poor Grice,
We think that a daily express
Should travel with sunshades and ice,
And a lookout for flags of distress.