Classic Poem

As hissing and pelting are so much in vogue,
You'll permit me to ride with my new epilogue,
That in case of a thump from a Buck , — or a Beau ,
I may clap to my spurs, and gallop — ge-hoe!
And, like a brave general, after being beat,
Exult and rejoice in a prudent retreat.
Nor should you despise this old senat'ress here;
Accoutred and dress'd in a caxon so queer;
For she is a person of learning profound,
Of sense most sagacious, of wisdom most sound,
So genteel in carriage, so sober and quiet,
And so useful — she serves me for physic and diet;
In arts Æsculapian sh' has wonderful knowledge,
And wrought greater cures than most of the college!
Oh, could all the sick, who have cause to repine,
But bridle their doctors, as I bridle mine;
Wou'd they saddle an ass, to the country repair,
And drink of her milk in an open free air,
The dabblers in physick would quickly decay,
And the bills of mortality dwindle away
Or could the poor clients, who oft are bestridden,
But ride on their lawyers, as by them they're ridden;
Cou'd saddle a sergeant, and jog out of town,
And strife and contention in full bumpers drown,
The world would grow wise and better each day,
And envy, and malice, and mischief decay!
The sons of sound sense to this scheme will agree,
And applaud my poor ass, and my mamma, and me