Classic Poem

At Ephesus once liv'd a maid
Who drove a very thriving trade,
All ready rhino she'd receive,
Tho' nought but foreign bills she gave.

This maid prosess'd a virgin life,
Yet knew the business of a wife.
Not one in town wou'd match her daughter,
Before a caudle-cup she brought her,
Lest in nine months she might prove cruel,
And sour her posset, or her gruel;
Some sent whole sets of gilded mettle,
With silver pot and copper kettle.
No man wou'd venture at his peril,
To start an hare, or hunt a squirrel,
Ere he her shrine wou'd first adorn
With golden bow, or hunting horn,
She had a chart at ev'ry stile,
To show the way — three pence per mile.
At each pike gate she had a wicket
That none shou'd pass without a ticket.
Some gave; to guard her from the weather,
Tight buskins made of Turkey leather,
Each brought what he cou'd best afford,
No dresser e'er was better stor'd.

At length her credit reach'd the wane,
And all 'gan loudly to complain.
One girl died before she marry'd,
An other in three months miscarry'd;
In vain the sports-man seeks his prey;
Her guides lead passengers astray.
So now it was by all decreed,
That she no longer shou'd be fee'd,
But each in turn shou'd take his stand,
To guard his own and neighbours land.
The tradesmen saw, if she shou'd fail,
For all their toys no further sale,
That, if Diana's reign was o'er,
No one would buy a single ewer.
The goldsmiths and their 'prentice boys,
As most aggriev'd, first made a noise:
Nor cou'd the brick-dust man refrain,
For he was paid to keep things clean:
Nay crispin swore that, he shou'd lose
The mending of her boots and shoes:
The copper-smiths, and tinkers follow,
All joining in the common halloo.
" Beware good folks what steps you take,
" Nor thus your ancient friend forsake;
" She long has kept your houses warm,
" And sav'd your squalling brats from harm:
" But if you change, you may depend,
" You ne'er will meet so good a friend;
" You will from house and home be torn,
" Your wives and gardens left forlorn;
" Sent packing in the devil's name;
" To fight and starve for others fame.
" Take warning then, your all's at stake;
" We only spake for friendship's sake;
" For well you know our craft will last,
" When this new bubble all is past.

Now shift the scene, apply the piece,
The tradesmen here — the sub-police,