Classic Poem

(And now begins a snooty tit-for-tat,
The Enemy rejoinder's very pat,
But entirely circumspect — the other shadow
Proving himself a thoroughgoing cad though.)
" Are you the man that was the person sent
" To trip up our puppets with your argument?" —
" If so I was the man I'd not look twice
" At all the tortured cohorts of your mice!" —
" If so you be the authenticated sage
" Of our epoch, why aren't you all the rage?" —
" Because, old mole, " the rage " is in your keeping:
" Because " the rage " c'est moi ! With Warwick Deeping
" You do your work, or the late Galsworthy, you see.
" Because you are so the man to boost the flea!" —
" If so the man you are to go to bed
" With a painted pillow, were you not better dead!" —
" If so the man I were, then that's correct.
" If so the man to sell me to your sect." —
" I think you are the man I caught at cheating
" With the whiskered card — the cutlassed King retreating?" —
" My prestidigitation with the Knave
" You may have noticed, the whole pack to save!
" Set a thief to catch a thief, you know!" —
" Are you the player trumped our Ukiyo?" —
" The Floating World is none of my concern!" —
" Are you the coward made off with the voter's urn?" —
" If so the man you ask, that shall I be!" —
" Were you the man that stole my cypher-key?" —
" Was I the man defaced your privy wall?"
" Were you the man conceived that monstrous ball?" —
" Was I the man the man that breathed his last?" —
" Were you that dead man scooting down the blast?" —
" Was I the man foozled at playing Auction?" —
" Were you that partner with the crass concoction?" —
" Was I the lion that looked in on your toilet?"
" Were you that tawny vermin! You may boil yet!
" You filled my bath-closet with an illegal roar,
" And threatened my footman with a rampant paw."