An Ode To Someone Gone Too Soon

Out of all of the lives you lived, I wonder which one was your favorite.
Did you wake up and dream of the nights where the music lifted you up so high that your bones turned to stardust?
Or did you dream of the days where your sadness tethered you down to the bed and refused to let go, like an abusive lover with hands that only thirsted for your demise?
Which life were you living in when you made your final decision?
When you decide to choose death over every little detail of the only life you’ve ever known, it seems improbable that you could even recall the moments you felt so high.
You were a small flame living within the catacombs of a mind like mine.
Between my own enigmatic sadness and my own manic love for everything, you were a part of me and I doubt you even knew me.
Maybe this poem is not a testament to you, but instead a testament to how jealous I become at time when I think about how beautiful it must have felt to feel everything within a flurry of a moment, and then to feel nothing at all.
I still am not sure if I believe in a life after death.
An existence that solely exists to contrast the pain we felt while on earth.
All I truly know, my dear, is that however I reach those “pearly gates”, I will hold you and tell you that despite your sadness like a concentrated hurricane, I cared. I cared and life will never be the same.