Member Poem

As i look at myself in window of this beaten down shack,

I find bags,

Brokenness,

A broken spirit lingering from what was left from the beginning.

I have seen myself many times in this window,

but never spent time to look at who i am

Or how life has affected me.

I grew weary trying to save the little girl i once was,

I wasn’t strong anymore.

I had given up years before i could count.

And i had lost myself in feelings that were unreal.

They destroyed me.

Made me who i am today.

And oh,

How i hate myself.

I let people walk all over me,

Fall for people who do not deserve me.

Yet i tell myself they are different.

That i am safe being in their presence.

Oh how i was wrong.

He tore me down and when i had thought to have something real,

It was just as fake as my smile has been since i learned to truth about this world.

A world of unforgiveness,

Sins,

A father who hates his little girl who adored him so.

A religion based on how we treat others.

I had forgotten how it felt.

Being dragged across that open room.

The blood flowing out of me.

I will never forget that day,

I saw who the man i adored and love,

Really was.

Inside.

And there was no escape from who i would become from this experience.