“It’s beautiful isn’t it? I mean just look at it! What a simple yet so complex piece of - dare I say -
art!” she says to no one, her delicate but strong hands wrapped around a mug of steaming hot
cocoa with three marshmallows floating lazily around the chocolaty lake. The rim is permanently
stained from years of her soft, lipstick-stained lips kissing the cup. She boards the subway of her
thoughts which continues on its rails as she sits by her only window in her apartment. She enjoys
being able to mentally wander the way Dionysus once wandered in search of nothing until
he was taken by the worst of all his creatures: man. As her mental subway travels along, they
stop at platforms in her memories, and she watches. From Halloween parties to first kisses to the
first time she let herself be taken. All of a sudden, her train car stops, and she steps off. She sees
trees form as the platform fades away to a grand forest, and she feels herself shrink. Her eyes tear
up as the memory sneaks upon her, and she takes the place of the little girl. She looks around
frantically and knows she is lost. And just as she tries to control her breathing, a monster
breathes fire onto her blanket. The little girl tries to run. She runs and runs and as her thoughts
race, her nose flares. Her ears pick up on the sound of her tears falling into her hot chocolate,
throwing off its balance of chocolate and marshmallow. Just as her hands slowly, mechanically
move the mug to her lips, the monster finally catches her. Her vision is flooded with the sight of
rotten leaves and decaying pumpkins. There is fire, and there is smoke. Her arms and legs ache
as her flesh melts away, leaving only a skeleton with bruised and broken bones. She shrieks with
no vocal cords. But her angel in blue arrives, and her flesh reforms, though her wounds yet pulse
with pain. The image of this angel fills her mind’s eye, so she breaks from the monster's grip and
sees it for what it is. It does not exist. And this battle is only waged in her mind. The only things
changing in reality are her expressions as she watches the flames burn below her. She finishes
her hot cocoa, leaving the mug to hover on the edge of her bottom lip which trembles faintly.
She’s back to the present as she hears her blue angel say: “Goddamn, did those kids start another
fire in the old Applebee’s again? I swear to God, they are gonna end up catching that building on
fire.” The angel walks to the woman with the mug, woven in a purple blanket, lost to the window
which has a view of nothing but Applebee’s. She wraps her arms around her waist.
They sit this way together as they both watch silently as firefighters arrive to put out the fire.
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