My Sins

I stare too long,

Hands twitching with ache,

Yearning for something impossible—

For something already scarred.


I gnaw at my jaw,

The more I want,

Pathetic, foolish—

A hunger that sinks deeper.

Draw red lines beneath my eyes,

Make me stop—

Force me to turn away,

To rip this desire from my chest,

To silence the disgust.


You don’t deserve this hunger,
This pit that rips me raw.
I’m choking on myself,
Torn apart by what I want.

Make me stop.

Make me forget.

Can you?


I burn with my sins,

Charred and blackened,

But it’s my fault—

All of it.

So I will tear out my tongue,

Silence myself with blood,

Let the cries spill out,

So I can breathe again,

So I can stop choking on this desire,

And find some quiet in the wreckage.