Classic Poem

B. SMITH would most undoubtedly be very, very cross
If some rude person called him Jap, and yet, I'm at a loss
To see how he could argue otherwise in that respect:
A Jap is human - or a rumour's rife to that effect.
And he talks and argues much the same as B.
So, if SMITH is not a twin
To his cherished Yellow-skin,
Why it's only just a matter of degree,
Just a trifling little matter of degree.


Now, a Jap is not a monkey. though he's oft compared with such,
And he doesn't look unlike one, so it hardly matters much.
A monkey has a fearsome phiz, and hands that grab at things,
And he imitates his betters - all of which the matter brings
To a very clear conclusion, seems to me,
Which you cannot fairly funk:
If a Jap is not a monk
Ey, it's patently a matter of degree.
And we needn't mind a matter of degree.


Of native monkeys hereabout, of course, you haven't heard;
And a monkey's not a native bear, which, clearly, is absurd,
And yet, a bear clings to a tree with young bears on its back
(My word! we're getting on a rather interesting tack)
Yes, it clings there like the cheerful chimpanzee.
So, if monkeys are not bears
So, overlooking certain petty matters of degree,
We are forced to these conclusions with undoubted certaintee:
B. SMITH'S a Jap, a Jap's an ape (according unto SMITH),
An ape's a bear, a bear's a bunyip, and the last's a myth!
It's as clear as any argument can be
That if our dear friend SMITH
Is not a simple myth
It's an unimportant matter of degree,
Quite a microscopic matter of degree.