Classic Poem

Husbands , here's the secret of connubial felicity.
Try this simple recipe, it's certain to succeed.
Unalloyed tranquillity and peaceful domesticity,
Follow these instructions; the result is guaranteed.
If your wife should manifest a tendency toward snappiness,
Though your fond and doting spouse incline, at times, to scrappiness,
Married life will soon become a blissful dream of happiness.
Follow my instructions; the result is guaranteed.

Treat her rough, old scout! Treat her rough!
And you'll find she'll soon admit she's had enough.
If your wife be temperamental
It won't pay to treat her gentle,
For a woman's tears are frequently a bluff.
Treat her rough, old bean! Treat her rough!
They all scream, but still they like the caveman stuff.
It will change her whole demeanor,
She'll be happier and keener,
Now and then if you should bean her.
Treat her rough!