Classic Poem

Ah well, my One-way, there you have my song.
I cannot now this argument prolong.
I have a date with another book — Next week
I am due upon One-way complaints to speak —
What the One-Way must guard against as such —
Pathology of Fronts — Why use a crutch?
Problems of equilibrium for those
Who go upright, and follow their own nose;
Care of the sick, who front-ways-up repose.
Treatment for maladies of the bust and belly,
And how to act from Sundown to revelly —
A strictly progressive one-way slumber-chart —
Avoidance of dreams — the horse before the cart
To keep, in spite of the quadruped — What books
For the One-way bookcase. I think that looks
A busy timetable, I'm pressed you see.
Excuse me from all further advocacy
Of strict observance of a one-way type
Of thinking and behaving. Keep your pipe
Well to the fore gripped in mock-mastiff jaws
And put your best foot foremost too of course.
But above all my parting shot is this —
Your best interests are served if you dismiss
In their totality inquisitive thoughts —
Bearing upon biology. Those sorts
Of questions you may leave to introspectors,
Who are not men, but psychical inspectors —
They will make you most self-conscious if you heed them.
Keep your wits dull on purpose: you don't need them!
A man's a man for a' that — never forget
Your doctor's only another kind of Vet.