Classic Poem

Sir William Gilbert, master of the lightsome and the lyrical.
Employed a sharply pointed pen and eke a style satirical;
A pen and style that here and now are absolutely needed—
Alas! that no one lives to write the kind of things that he did!

“Yet should a Gilbert rise again, with such a gift for gayety,
For academic merriment applauded by the laity,
Where are the targets now for his satirical confetti?
What themes,” you ask, “are worthy of Gilbertian libretti?”

“What could he find to write of in these U. S. of Ameriky?
What is there for a pen so sharply, subtly esotericky?”
Alas! there are a thousand themes, you undiscerning filbert,
To furnish inspiration to a man like William Gilbert!

An opera, say, replete with quip and crank and quirk and quiddity
On presidential calmness and Woodrovian placidity;
On Secretary Daniels and the varied consequences
Attendant on the dearth of ships and similar defences.

On Taste in Music, Letters, Art; on War, and on Neutrality;
On men and women, rich and poor, in this and that locality;
And then—this is the Big Idea, and I shall now unloose it—
An opera on the Task of Finding Some One to Produce it.