Classic Poem

THE ASS AND THE BROCK .

Upon a time a solemn Ass
Was dand'ring thro' a narrow pass,
Where he forgather'd with a Brock,
Wha him saluted frae a rock;
Speer'd how he did? how markets gade?
What 's a' ye'r news? and how is trade?
How does Jock Stot and Lucky Yad,
Tam Tup, and Bucky, honest lad? —
Reply'd the Ass, and made a heel,
" E'en a' the better that ye 're weel:
" But Jackanapes and snarling Fitty
" Are grown sae wicked, (some ca's 't witty,)
" That we wha solid are and grave,
" Nae peace on our ain howms can have;
" While we are bisy gathering gear,
" Upon a brae they 'll sit and sneer.
" If ane shou'd chance to breathe behin',
" Or ha'e some slaver at his chin,
" Or 'gainst a tree shou'd rub his arse,
" That 's subject for a winsome farce.
" There draw they me, as void of thinking;
" And you, my dear, famous for stinking;
" And the bauld birsy bair, your frien',
" A glutton, dirty to the een:
" By laughing dogs and apes abus'd,
" Wha is 't can thole to be sae us'd! "

" Dear me! heh! wow! and say ye sae? "
Return'd the Brock: — " I 'm unko wae,
" To see this flood of wit break in:
" O scour about, and ca't a sin;
" Stout are your lungs, your voice is loud,
" And ought will pass upon the crowd. "

The Ass thought this advice was right,
And bang'd away with a' his might:
Stood on a know among the cattle,
And furiously 'gainst wit did rattle:
Pour'd out a deluge of dull phrases;
While dogs and apes leugh, and made faces.
Thus a' the angry Ass held forth
Serv'd only to augment their mirth.