Classic Poem

or,

A Ballad New Which Doth Most Plainly Show

How Seventy-Nine Would Fain Be Forty-Two

Come listen, good people, to what I shall say
Concerning the blessing of this happy day;
The downfall of Perkin and joyful return
Of a prince that will make his electorate mourn.
Though Shaftesbury plotted
And Grey was besotted,
Though Armstrong to ground of artillery trotted —
Yet His Highness, God bless him, is safely come back
To the shame and confusion of Perkin Warbeck.

This Perkin's a prince whose excellency lies
In cutting of capers and storming dirt pies;
He aims at a crown for his noddle unfit
As Howe for a duchess, or he for a wit.
He danceth, he skippeth,
He frisketh, he leapeth,
To trumpet and drums he manfully trippeth —
But His Highness, God bless him, is safely come back
To the shame and confusion of Perkin Warbeck.

His council consists of Vernon and Rowe,
Two pages apostate, and Armstrong the beau,
Who lately rebuked for services done,
Is returned in his dumps from the court to the town,
Where he may contrive
How Perkin may swive
Since in's empty noddle no politics thrive —
For His Highness, God bless him, is safely come back
To the shame and confusion of Perkin Warbeck.

If pocky Sir Player with Peyton and Jenks
Could pass on the City their traitorous stinks,
If Presbyter John and his fanatic crew
Can speed but as well in Commons' House new,
Then Perkin might hope
To be Presbyter pope
And serve, as Madge Howlett, to dance on a rope —
But His Highness, God bless him, is safely come back
To the shame and confusion of Perkin Warbeck.

Buckingham, Winchester, Shaftesbury, Grey
Would set up this fop, old England to sway;
Macclesfield's now taking wind from their tail,
While the iron's hot, cries, Let's drive the nail!
But Perkin be free,
And prithee tell me
What in the end wilt thou be better than we —
For His Highness, God bless him, is safely come back
To the shame and confusion of Perkin Warbeck.
Then with thy ten bullies go Hamborough view,
And there with more safety converse with a Jew;
We English will ever be just to the crown,
No bastard succession with us shall go down.
Though plot upon plot
Has kept our brains hot,
Yet the cheat's now discovered, 'twill serve thy turn not —
For His Highness, God bless him, is safely come back
To the shame and confusion of Perkin Warbeck.

God bless our good king, and long may he reign,
But let not his brother leave England again;
Rebellious and factious heads let them knock off,
Some to the gallows, and some to the scaff —
Old England till then
Cannot hope that their men
Of Shaftesbury e'er will be quiet again —
Though His Highness, God bless him, is safely come back
To the shame and confusion of Perkin Warbeck.