The Ballad of the Thoughtless Waiter
I saw him lying cold and dead
Who yesterday was whole.
— Why, — I inquired, — hath he expired?
And why hath fled his soul? —
— But yesterday, — his comrade said,
— All health was his, and strength;
And this is why he came to die —
If I may speak at length.
— But yesternight at dinnertime
At a not unknown café,
He had a frugal meal as you
Might purchase any day.
— The check for his so simple fare
Was only eighty cents,
And a dollar bill with a right good will
Came from his opulence.
— The waiter brought him twenty cents.
'Twas only yesternight
That he softly said who now is dead
— Oh, keep it. 'At's a' right. —
— And the waiter plainly uttered — Thanks. —
With no hint of scorn or pride;
And my comrade's heart gave a sudden start
And my comrade up and died. —
Now waiters overthwart this land,
In tearooms and in dives,
Mute be your lips whatever the tips,
And save your customers' lives.
Who yesterday was whole.
— Why, — I inquired, — hath he expired?
And why hath fled his soul? —
— But yesterday, — his comrade said,
— All health was his, and strength;
And this is why he came to die —
If I may speak at length.
— But yesternight at dinnertime
At a not unknown café,
He had a frugal meal as you
Might purchase any day.
— The check for his so simple fare
Was only eighty cents,
And a dollar bill with a right good will
Came from his opulence.
— The waiter brought him twenty cents.
'Twas only yesternight
That he softly said who now is dead
— Oh, keep it. 'At's a' right. —
— And the waiter plainly uttered — Thanks. —
With no hint of scorn or pride;
And my comrade's heart gave a sudden start
And my comrade up and died. —
Now waiters overthwart this land,
In tearooms and in dives,
Mute be your lips whatever the tips,
And save your customers' lives.
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