Classic Poem

IN PRAISE OF SNUFF,

By Mr. WOTY.

Behold young Dapper in his elbow chair,
The gallant, smart Adonis of the fair!
His paper-box, replete with sweet rappee,
He holds, and pinches the contents with glee,
But, hark! he speaks in soft poetic strain,
Snuff the lov'd theme, for snuff inspires his brain.

" Let abject souls the clay-form'd tube assume,
And suck Virginia's sleep-creating fume;
I scorn to smoke, or chew the nauseous quid;
Avert it fashion! decency forbid!
While they delight the fiery plant to puff,
Be mine to praise the qualities of snuff.
'Tis this alone that constitutes the beau,
And fills his nostrils with a purer glow,
Supplies his head-piece with ideas new,
And lends fresh spirit to the billet-doux.
By this each card more brilliant he indites,
Smiles when he reads, and giggles while he writes,
Hums o'er a minuet, or essays to sing,
And leers with greater pleasure on his ring.
O fragrant snuff! how does thy lively grain
Invigorate the lawyer's puzzled brain!
By thee more clearly he discerns the cause,
And solves each dry conundrum of the laws;
From the warm argument will scorn to flinch,
While thou canst kindly help him at a pinch.
O pleasing dust, how shall I speak thy praise!
Too flat my diction, and too weak my lays.
Thou tickling source of sentiment refin'd!
Great Panacaea to the drooping mind!
Companion and delight of all the fair,
From Bet the maid to Madam in her chair!
Be thou my Vade mecum, I can go
Where trips the jessamy, where struts the beau,
Hence can look grave at Batson's, dull at Peele's,
Gay at the Bedford, politic at Will's.
Thee, Hardham, thee let not the Muse pass by,
For oft thy jars have rivetted her eye.
O were her Numbers half as good as thine!
What strength! what warmth would animate her line!
Then should thy fame resound from shore to shore,
Till tongues grew mute, and echo could no more."